Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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