It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
