I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
