Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
