i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
