she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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