she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
