please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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