We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
