i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
