please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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