i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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