Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
