And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
