No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So much rum. So many feels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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