I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
