oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
