I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
