You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
