how can u be prego again
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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