I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
