i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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