There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
