i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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