rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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