It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
