only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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