4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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