and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
