how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
