what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
