O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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