No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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