What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
