Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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