i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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