I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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