I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
