My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
