Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
After last night, I could never be a politician.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
