What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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