At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Your cock deserves a montage
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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