I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
