Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
