you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
