come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
