It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am available for nakedness
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
