non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
