this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
