I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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