cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
