i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
