I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
