Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
